Shoreditch based Imaginary Café Serves up platters of nothing

by Startacus Admin

Well it was only a matter of time wasn't it? What with cereal only cafés and crisp sandwich restaurants making the headlines lately, no one was surprised to hear of the launch of the most alternative eatery yet to hit the UK high street.

'Imaginary Café' has the spurious accolade of being the first UK café to specialise in the serving of...absolutely nothing.

Yes, hungry hipsters and fashionable foodies of Shoreditch can pop into Imaginary Café, take a load off, and tuck into a mouthwatering feast of lovingly prepared nothing.  The exciting menu includes the café’s own special creations 'all you can eat nothing', 'nothing and no veg' and 'I can't believe its not something'.  

"I think the café is managing to meet a real need that exists here in Shoreditch at the moment" explained café proprietor Alan Charloutaine. "More and more when people go out to eat, it's got nothing to do with food, it's about embracing innovation, quirkiness, fashion, entrepreneurialism, innovation and innovative entrepreneurialism".  

From the 1000 strong queue forming outside the café’s shop front on a freezing Monday morning, it's clear that the idea is a big hit with the young trendy upwardly mobile types.  "I think it's great! I mean, we are are always being told that less is more so surely nothing must be the most, right?" said one heavily bearded 22 year old who claimed to have been queuing for just over a week.

Inside the café, the wall paper pasting tables and reclaimed primary school chairs are crammed with happy diners, loudly congratulating each other on their individuality and praising the owners for their originality "It's a great way to support the local economy" said one diner, as he placed a napkin on his lap and began happily tucking into an £8 bowl of 'French nothing soup'.

"It's that nostalgic feeling you get" said another, clutching a bright pink stuffed care bear "it just takes me back to my childhood and having imaginary tea parties with my imaginary friends. I mean, just because we get older doesn't mean that we have to take a rational approach to life... this isn't the 90's!  #ForeverYoung"

As Alan busied himself getting ready for the lunchtime rush I asked him what he thought about some of the criticisms that have been levelled at the café over its concept and pricing, to which he replied "Haters gonna hate and if you can't afford it, you wouldn't understand".

When I asked him what his big plans are for the future of Imaginary Café he replied:

"That's easy; absolutely nothing!"

If you like this recent news - you might also like to read that Research shows having a beard increases your Startup success by 86%

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• #chrisp cafe

Published on: 15th January 2015