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Pitching: Do You Have a Biscuit Strategy?
by Startacus Admin
Pitching: Do You Have a Biscuit Strategy?
This is it. You’ve done your research, studied each attendee’s LinkedIn profile and double checked your figures. But what happens when talking fails? What have you got up your sleeve? Your trump card? I am of course talking about the choice of biscuits. Never mind blue chip investment. This is choc chip investment and you need to make sure that you are one step ahead of the game. Choose your biscuit strategy carefully.
Digestives: The Equity Hogger
A traditional, understated, yet tasty choice. A clear message from the outset that you like to hold on to your capital instead of shedding cash for a more risky choice of biccy. In the current financial climate there are no room for risks and the digestive has held its market share since 1876.
Good for: Financial Institutions, Insurance
Bad for: Creative Agencies, the Catering Industry
Chocolate Hobnobs: The Unexpected Roadblock
You’ve lured them in with a slick marketing video featuring that guy from Season 3 of Big Brother and promises of a viral social media campaign but now you have to break it to them that there isn’t as huge a demand for your brand of puppy pyjamas as you thought. You need leverage and you need it fast. Stem the impending range with a nice chocolate hobnob. Appealing and visually pleasing on top, but with a tendency to crumble - just like your business plan. They’ll be too busy wiping crumbs from their shirt that they won’t bother wiping the tears from their eyes.
Good for: Failed Social Networks
Bad for: Charities, Retail
Jammy Dodgers: The Optimist
Sticky, delicious and memorable, just like your company slogan. There isn’t another biscuit out there that conveys quite the same literal optimism as an actual jam filled smile. Be careful though not to associate yourself with the colloquial meaning of ‘jammy’ - this is not a stroke of luck, just the beginning of a sweet sweet series of deals.
Good for: Media Production Companies
Bad for: Textiles and Clothing Industries
Party Rings: The done deal
This meeting is just a formality. Don’t however become complacent, nothing has been signed. When the Head of Business Development drops a bombshell on you, it’s not going to look fantastic that you’ve got your feet up on the table and a party ring on each finger. He’s presented a big plate of chocolate Hobnobs, and you know it’s going to be a long afternoon.
Good for: Previously completed deals, established contacts
Bad for: New partnerships, Funeral Directors
If you are looking for more practical (and useful) pitching advice that can really make a difference to your business, head over to The Pitch website - Britains biggest small business competition. They are currently open for entries, but you have to act quick as the deadline is 13th July.
In my next blog post, I’ll be looking at the best chair to use when chairing a meeting…
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