Startacus Join Now! /
View Our Toolkit

Pitching: Do You Have a Biscuit Strategy?

Startacus RSS

by Startacus Admin

Pitching: Do You Have a Biscuit Strategy?

biscuitsThis is it. You’ve done your research, studied each attendee’s LinkedIn profile and double checked your figures. But what happens when talking fails? What have you got up your sleeve? Your trump card? I am of course talking about the choice of biscuits. Never mind blue chip investment. This is choc chip investment and you need to make sure that you are one step ahead of the game. Choose your biscuit strategy carefully.

Digestives: The Equity Hogger

A traditional, understated, yet tasty choice. A clear message from the outset that you like to hold on to your capital instead of shedding cash for a more risky choice of biccy. In the current financial climate there are no room for risks and the digestive has held its market share since 1876.

Good for: Financial Institutions, Insurance

Bad for: Creative Agencies, the Catering Industry

Chocolate Hobnobs: The Unexpected Roadblock

You’ve lured them in with a slick marketing video featuring that guy from Season 3 of Big Brother and promises of a viral social media campaign but now you have to break it to them that there isn’t as huge a demand for your brand of puppy pyjamas as you thought. You need leverage and you need it fast. Stem the impending range with a nice chocolate hobnob. Appealing and visually pleasing on top, but with a tendency to crumble - just like your business plan. They’ll be too busy wiping crumbs from their shirt that they won’t bother wiping the tears from their eyes.

Good for: Failed Social Networks

Bad for: Charities, Retail

Jammy Dodgers: The Optimist

Sticky, delicious and memorable, just like your company slogan. There isn’t another biscuit out there that conveys quite the same literal optimism as an actual jam filled smile. Be careful though not to associate yourself with the colloquial meaning of ‘jammy’ -  this is not a stroke of luck, just the beginning of a sweet sweet series of deals.

Good for: Media Production Companies

Bad for: Textiles and Clothing Industries

Party Rings: The done deal

This meeting is just a formality. Don’t however become complacent, nothing has been signed. When the Head of Business Development drops a bombshell on you, it’s not going to look fantastic that you’ve got your feet up on the table and a party ring on each finger. He’s presented a big plate of chocolate Hobnobs, and you know it’s going to be a long afternoon.

Good for: Previously completed deals, established contacts

Bad for: New partnerships, Funeral Directors

If you are looking for more practical (and useful) pitching advice that can really make a difference to your business, head over to The Pitch website - Britains biggest small business competition. They are currently open for entries, but you have to act quick as the deadline is 13th July.

In my next blog post, I’ll be looking at the best chair to use when chairing a meeting…

If you like what you see here on Startacus, why not become a member of our growing community? It's free! And you'll get all this - exclusive access to our Business Toolkit, discounts and offers galore for your business via our member only business deals, the chance to network and connect with loads of fellow self-starters, and maybe even become our celebrated 'Self-Starter of the Week' and tell the world your startup tale! Join right here for free

Startacus RSS
Business DealsSubmit Your Startup
Win TicketsNetwork and Collaborate
Our Latest Features

Published on: 30th June 2014

If you would like to enable commenting via your Startacus account, please enable Disqus functionality in your Account Settings.

Create an Idea!View Other Ideas, Projects or Startups
Drive with Belron Why not Sign Up?
Create Projects
Edit Projects
Self Interviews
Self Starter of the Year
Product Giveaways
Subscribe to our Newsletter
  • Top Startup Events UK and Ireland 2017 20th Jan 2017 In honoured tradition we return with our roundup and list of the top UK and Ireland Startup Events and Conferences for 2017.
  • AIB Start-up Academy Summit returns to Belfast! 13th Jan 2017 Northern Ireland startups and entrepreneurs listen up! The AIB Start-up Academy Summit will be back in Belfast and we’ve all the important info you need to bag your free ticket to attend!
  • Newcastle Startup Week Set to Inspire 11th Jan 2017 Newcastle Startup Week - a new festival of entrepreneurship aims to inspire local people to start businesses and attract greater inward investment to the city and wider North East of England region.
  • Drive with Belron Accelerator seeks disruptive Startups 7th Jan 2017 The world’s leading vehicle glass repair and replacement service provider Belron is back on the hunt for innovative startups to joins its ten week accelerator Drive.
Check us out at our Google+ page!