Pitching: Do You Have a Biscuit Strategy?

by Startacus Admin
Pitching: Do You Have a Biscuit Strategy?
This is it. You’ve done your research, studied each attendee’s LinkedIn profile and double checked your figures. But what happens when talking fails? What have you got up your sleeve? Your trump card? I am of course talking about the choice of biscuits. Never mind blue chip investment. This is choc chip investment and you need to make sure that you are one step ahead of the game. Choose your biscuit strategy carefully.
Digestives: The Equity Hogger
A traditional, understated, yet tasty choice. A clear message from the outset that you like to hold on to your capital instead of shedding cash for a more risky choice of biccy. In the current financial climate there are no room for risks and the digestive has held its market share since 1876.
Good for: Financial Institutions, Insurance
Bad for: Creative Agencies, the Catering Industry
Chocolate Hobnobs: The Unexpected Roadblock
You’ve lured them in with a slick marketing video featuring that guy from Season 3 of Big Brother and promises of a viral social media campaign but now you have to break it to them that there isn’t as huge a demand for your brand of puppy pyjamas as you thought. You need leverage and you need it fast. Stem the impending range with a nice chocolate hobnob. Appealing and visually pleasing on top, but with a tendency to crumble - just like your business plan. They’ll be too busy wiping crumbs from their shirt that they won’t bother wiping the tears from their eyes.
Good for: Failed Social Networks
Bad for: Charities, Retail
Jammy Dodgers: The Optimist
Sticky, delicious and memorable, just like your company slogan. There isn’t another biscuit out there that conveys quite the same literal optimism as an actual jam filled smile. Be careful though not to associate yourself with the colloquial meaning of ‘jammy’ - this is not a stroke of luck, just the beginning of a sweet sweet series of deals.
Good for: Media Production Companies
Bad for: Textiles and Clothing Industries
Party Rings: The done deal
This meeting is just a formality. Don’t however become complacent, nothing has been signed. When the Head of Business Development drops a bombshell on you, it’s not going to look fantastic that you’ve got your feet up on the table and a party ring on each finger. He’s presented a big plate of chocolate Hobnobs, and you know it’s going to be a long afternoon.
Good for: Previously completed deals, established contacts
Bad for: New partnerships, Funeral Directors
If you are looking for more practical (and useful) pitching advice that can really make a difference to your business, head over to The Pitch website - Britains biggest small business competition. They are currently open for entries, but you have to act quick as the deadline is 13th July.
In my next blog post, I’ll be looking at the best chair to use when chairing a meeting…
If you like what you see here on Startacus, why not become a member of our growing community? It's free! And you'll get all this - exclusive access to our Business Toolkit, discounts and offers galore for your business via our member only business deals, the chance to network and connect with loads of fellow self-starters, and maybe even become our celebrated 'Self-Starter of the Week' and tell the world your startup tale! Join right here for free
Subscribe to our newsletter
If you would like to receive our startup themed newsletter, full of the latest startup opportunities, events, news, stories, tips and advice, then sign up here.
Even if you're doing it all yourself for now, here is an overview of the key operational areas that your business ought to have

Medtech company Manus raises £1.2m to help with the roll-out of its NeuroMotor pen designed for use in the diagnosis and monitoring of neuromotor impairments

BondAval secures $1.64 Million Pre-Seed funding to help accelerate its product roll-out, further develop its machine-learning technology and expand its team

Ensuring that employees feel like they're valued is vital for all businesses - here are some basic tips on how you can ensure that you do just that

By Bits enables insurance firms to transform customer experience and meet the growing demand for usage-based insurance

The lowdown on Housemates, the Manchester-based startup that's on a mission to make securing student accommodation easier than ever before

Proximie is a platform that uses artificial intelligence, machine learning and augmented reality to enable clinicians to collaborate virtually

New research from Corporate Coach Group reveals the UK's most ambitious cities and includes top tips on how to make 2021 your best year ever when it comes to achieving your goals

The accolade this week goes to MyPlasticDiary, an innovative app which will enable you to track, understand and reduce your plastic footprint

The innovative Spanish startup raises major funding to scale its team and help more businesses design smarter automated conversations with customers
Published on: 30th June 2014
If you would like to enable commenting via your Startacus account, please enable Disqus functionality in your Account Settings.







- Manus secures funding to support launch of its Parkinson's Pen 26th Jan 2021 Medtech company Manus raises £1.2m to help with the roll-out of its NeuroMotor pen designed for use in the diagnosis and monitoring of neuromotor impairments
- B2B insurtech BondAval secures major funding 26th Jan 2021 BondAval secures $1.64 Million Pre-Seed funding to help accelerate its product roll-out, further develop its machine-learning technology and expand its team
- Where are the UK’s most ambitious people in 2021? 21st Jan 2021 New research from Corporate Coach Group reveals the UK's most ambitious cities and includes top tips on how to make 2021 your best year ever when it comes to achieving your goals
- No-Code Chatbot Builder Landbot Secures $8M Series A 20th Jan 2021 The innovative Spanish startup raises major funding to scale its team and help more businesses design smarter automated conversations with customers