Our alternative Candidates to fill the vacant 'Dragon's Den' Seats!

by Startacus Admin

With the upcoming departures of Kelly Hoppen, Piers Linney and Duncan Bannatyne from the BBC’s Dragons Den, we’ve been abuzz with talk and debate about who should fill their empty seats.

We’ve come up with a number of ingenious solutions; guaranteed to make the show just as inspired as it was at the beginning and as cut throat and as business oriented as any of Alan Sugar’s would be- apprentices.

Now, we’re aware that the BBC is already casting the official replacements, but these suggestions should still be considered if for nothing other than their sheer entertainment value.

Let’s jump right in with our first choice as a dragon;

Smaug
Let’s face it; he already has experience as a dragon. He’s a financial whizz, even if it was obtained in a remarkably shady way and it’s hard to think that anyone is going to argue with him about business proposals, ideas or how they could probably surpass him in business knowledge.

Another cool twist Smaug would bring to the table would be his reluctance to share finances or profit, but even his willingness to effectively just take ideas and keep them for himself.

And of course, he’s voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch. Sold!

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Already well established in the sports/fitness/martial arts/murder industries, he also has close ties to Hollywood and advertising agencies around the world. He’d know the best way to sell any idea brought to him, using his unbridled masculinity and media influence. There would be very little sniping between him and other dragons, as that voice and accent alone could quell any argument, but the impending threat of a brain exploding roundhouse kick also applies.

Bruce Wayne / Batman

If anyone has money to burn, it’s Bruce Wayne. He’d have all the inside details on the gadgetry market, as well as a keen eye for business sense. He pretty much would always have a buyer for the fancy new technology that comes through the den, and could even offer development and investment advice for anyone who’s interested. He does however have a tendency to hire sidekicks and make them fight crime, but that could always lend itself to an interesting extra feature.

RuPaul

Having a flair for the dramatic and experience in reality television would make RuPaul a great asset to the Dragons den. Having knowledge on how to sell yourself in your line of business as well as that ‘je ne sais quoi’ about making everything you do that little bit more fabulous.

Mr.Weasley

If anyone knows business and finance, it would definitely have to be Mr. Weasley. Budgeting for a family of 13 on what could barely be called a shoestring budget took a bit more than the old witchcraft & wizardry that the Harry Potter universe is prone to.

The Blue Man Group

Just 'cause it would be funny to watch them negociating deals against Peter Jones! 

Saul Goodman

Years of legal experience and his knowledge of the pharmaceutical business, would make him a powerhouse in the medical business. Proposals for healthcare and innovations could easily be cornered by this tycoon, and ensure that all the people involved, get exactly what they need.

Ghostbuster, Dr. Peter Venkman

With his knowhow in Western business and marketing he could convince anyone to buy anything. He managed to convince a city of 7 million people that he could rid their homes of ghosts and other paranormal atrocities. His laser grid didn’t even have a safety switch! This guy could sell ice to a polar bear. He needs a place!

Elsa from Frozen

An absolute business Ice Queen, she’d have no issue in freezing assets if an investment wasn’t panning out. She’d also stay pretty cool under pressure from the other dragons and potential investments. Having a blue blood lineage, she would add a sense of decorum and class to the den, without making it entirely about how much money she has. Any problems with an investment or dragon could easily find themselves let go, as her fractal business sense means she takes no prisoners.

“I’ll have what she’s having” lady from ‘When Harry Met Sally'

Literally just an add-in to make sure that other dragons stay on their toes, as someone else may be matching their deals, and keeping their offers on the lower end.

Comedy Gold! 

Kermit the Frog

Another media mogul with decades of experience and contacts within the industry, he’d be a cool, calm and collected member of the Dragons panel. He’d have a very inquisitive mind in order to get the information he needs, and would have the leadership qualities to make the investments and advancements needed to get ahead. Not to mention he’s a cold blooded brute when it comes to speaking his mind.

This is by no means an exhaustive list! If there’s anyone you’d like to see take up one of the dragons spots – Let us know! Tweet us, find us on Facebook

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• #dragons den
• #replacements
• #
• #smaug
• #benedict cumberbatch
• #jean-claude van damme
• #kermit the frog
• #bruce wayne
• #batman
• #rupaul
• #mr.weasley
• #blue man group
• #saul goodman
• #ghostbuster
• #peter venkman
• #elsa

Published on: 12th February 2015