Office jargon Explained - Say whaaaat?
by Startacus Admin
It can sometimes feel like you are living in a Dr Seuss story…a world where the simple art of the English language has been magically transformed into a secret code of mystery and deceit... where no statement is quite what it seems.
We call it office speak or office jargon, for the German’s it’s Buro Sprechen and in France they have parler de bureau - it seems wherever you go modern businesses are 
filled with gobbledy-gook, jibber-jabber and sometimes even gobbledy-jabber.
To help (or potentially confuse things even more) we’ve put together a little list of some of the common things you might hear around the office followed by one example of what it could potentially mean.
N.B. In true Startacus style we’ve gone for the extreme end of the spectrum with each of these statements … alternative meanings are also possible… unlikely, but certainly possible...
Office jargon Explained...
“We feel as a group...”- I (as an individual) have convinced the other sheep of the merits of my argument.
“Think outside the box”- That is a terrible idea, you should come up with something better. (Unless of course you happen to work in a box factory, in which case this could just be some sensible advice)
“Let’s take some time out” - I can't bear to spend one more moment on this activity.
“We should have a little chat”- There is a very serious and potentially even career ending conversation on the way, you should prepare yourself.
“I am very busy at the moment, can I call you back?”- I have just reached level 12 on Angry Birds in Space and can’t be distracted right now…
“Oh… I must not have got that email!”- I got the email and chose to ignore it.. if you send it again I will probably do the same.
“We can touch base later”- I shall meticulously analyse every second of your workday
“Going forward you might want to…” My way of doing things in eminently better than yours!
“I can't come to the meeting I’ve got a conference call” I want to call my friends to gab about Saturday night
“I need you to give 110%” - You are not doing enough in the first place / Your 100% is not good enough
*“Its on my radar” - You / they have been wilfully ignoring this (but thanks for the reminder!)
“Keep me in the Loop” - I don’t trust you / I don’t trust them / I am fairly uninterested in this - but its worth “keeping on the radar*” (say whaaaat)
As yet we don’t consider ourselves 100% fluent in the elusive language of office speak, so please let us know if your translations are different from ours.
You might also like to check out a few of these recent rib-ticklers…
Is Santa Claus the world's greatest entrepreneur?
What startup animal would you be
Soundtrack to your startup journey
Join Startacus - the Self Start Society!
Sherpr - The no hassle, premium door to door service for shipping your sports equipment...
Feral Horses is a marketplace startup that acts as an art stock exchange to buy and trade shares of contemporary artworks directly from artists and art galleries.
If you are starting out and considering trading as a sole trader, here's some of the current sole trader and self assessment information you'll need to know.
The Adecco Group have announced a definitive agreement to acquire General Assembly, pioneers in education and career transformation, who provide accelerated learning programs in high-demand 21st-century digital skills.
.jpeg)
GovStart, a six month growth programme run by PUBLIC, to help tech startups transform the public sector is back and looking for its latest cohort.
The first Global Digital Week, happening 23rd-29th April, will take place in more than 7 different countries promoting tech and digital skills in all walks of life.
Do businesses really need clocking in systems? Here's 5 benefits using a time tracking system for employees can bring to a business.
Florence - a marketplace platform for nurses to find shifts in hospitals and nursing homes and for nursing homes to source self-employed nurses.
The secure app for NHS clinicians to easily and instantly communicate with each other, share patient information, and prioritise tasks.
"Be smarter than your newsfeed" thanks to this innovative journalism startup...
Published on: 23rd January 2014
If you would like to enable commenting via your Startacus account, please enable Disqus functionality in your Account Settings.
- upSTART, the startup pitch competition at Digital DNA returns for 2018 9th Apr 2018 upSTART, the startup pitch competition that brings together a whole host of top UK, Irish and European tech startups, Investors, and Judges is BACK for 2018 at Digital DNA.
- CreativeTech 100 – are you part of it? 15th Mar 2018 CreativeTech 100 – are you part of it? Tech London Advocates are looking for any startups doing great things in terms of CreativeTech.
- The Ireland Funds Business Plan Competition 2018 15th Mar 2018 The Ireland Funds Business Plan Competition, seeks to nurture creativity & hone entrepreneurial skills amongst Irish-based early-stage tech entrepreneurs.
- Intu Accelerate 2018 hunts for next big thing in retail 13th Mar 2018 intu Accelerate 2018 is once open for applications from startups looking to create the perfect shopping experience.
