Office jargon Explained - Say whaaaat?
by Startacus Admin
It can sometimes feel like you are living in a Dr Seuss story…a world where the simple art of the English language has been magically transformed into a secret code of mystery and deceit... where no statement is quite what it seems.
We call it office speak or office jargon, for the German’s it’s Buro Sprechen and in France they have parler de bureau - it seems wherever you go modern businesses are 
filled with gobbledy-gook, jibber-jabber and sometimes even gobbledy-jabber.
To help (or potentially confuse things even more) we’ve put together a little list of some of the common things you might hear around the office followed by one example of what it could potentially mean.
N.B. In true Startacus style we’ve gone for the extreme end of the spectrum with each of these statements … alternative meanings are also possible… unlikely, but certainly possible...
Office jargon Explained...
“We feel as a group...”- I (as an individual) have convinced the other sheep of the merits of my argument.
“Think outside the box”- That is a terrible idea, you should come up with something better. (Unless of course you happen to work in a box factory, in which case this could just be some sensible advice)
“Let’s take some time out” - I can't bear to spend one more moment on this activity.
“We should have a little chat”- There is a very serious and potentially even career ending conversation on the way, you should prepare yourself.
“I am very busy at the moment, can I call you back?”- I have just reached level 12 on Angry Birds in Space and can’t be distracted right now…
“Oh… I must not have got that email!”- I got the email and chose to ignore it.. if you send it again I will probably do the same.
“We can touch base later”- I shall meticulously analyse every second of your workday
“Going forward you might want to…” My way of doing things in eminently better than yours!
“I can't come to the meeting I’ve got a conference call” I want to call my friends to gab about Saturday night
“I need you to give 110%” - You are not doing enough in the first place / Your 100% is not good enough
*“Its on my radar” - You / they have been wilfully ignoring this (but thanks for the reminder!)
“Keep me in the Loop” - I don’t trust you / I don’t trust them / I am fairly uninterested in this - but its worth “keeping on the radar*” (say whaaaat)
As yet we don’t consider ourselves 100% fluent in the elusive language of office speak, so please let us know if your translations are different from ours.
You might also like to check out a few of these recent rib-ticklers…
Is Santa Claus the world's greatest entrepreneur?
What startup animal would you be
Soundtrack to your startup journey
Join Startacus - the Self Start Society!
Subscribe to our newsletter
If you would like to receive our startup themed newsletter, full of the latest startup opportunities, events, news, stories, tips and advice, then sign up here.
Ignite returns to Newcastle, home to its inaugural accelerator programme, to launch a 3-month funded, pre-accelerator programme for up to 20 early-stage businesses.
The free online tool to help you save money on your mortgage, the easy way.
"If you want to teach a nation to read: Just turn on the subtitles". This simple advice might just help make kids become proficient readers...
The innovative N. Ireland based startup that'll help you save both time and money when importing...
Urban Massage announces new on-demand wellness services and immediately raises over £2.5m in investment via equity crowdfunding platform, Seedrs.
The innovative app which is creating a better way for law firms to communicate with their clients...
London-based startup Ugenie is aiming to allow businesses to efficiently engage & monetise their customer community via an affordable tailored mobile hub.
Thinking of entering and expanding your business into the US market? We chat to Michael Burke, Partner in the Washington, DC office of Arnall Golden Gregory LLP.
The FinTech startup which is on a mission to fix car leasing and make the entire process easier than ever before.
Early-stage startup CityRadar is a SaaS platform that aims to tracks, analyses and increase consumer spend in the hospitality, tourism & travel business sectors. We found out more...
Published on: 23rd January 2014
If you would like to enable commenting via your Startacus account, please enable Disqus functionality in your Account Settings.
- Trezeo looks to the crowd to target full UK launch 27th Jun 2018 Trezeo, a fintech startup focused on delivering financial stability to the self-employed, targets fully launching its income smoothing business account product in the UK.
- CliniShift awarded upSTART startup pitch title at Digital DNA 2018 21st Jun 2018 CliniShift wins the upSTART startup pitch title at Digital DNA for 2018, battling off against 24 other disruptive UK, NI and Irish startups.
- Launchpad, the award-winning incubator/accelerator building high tech startups in Cornwall 21st Jun 2018 Launchpad, an innovative, post-graduate incubation & acceleration programme developed by Falmouth University that aims to create new digital businesses to meet identified market demand in just 12 months.
- Lloyd's Lab begins global search for tech talent 21st Jun 2018 Over ten weeks, tech startups will be given the unique opportunity to work with Lloyd’s market experts to shape the next big innovation.
