What does your choice of coffee say about you as a startup founder?

by Startacus Admin

If you are a regular (or even an irregular) visitor to the world of Startacus, you will no doubt have noticed that we have gone a little bonkers in recent weeks. Not all the time of course (too much of a good thing and all that) but there has been on occasion, evidence of a slow, yet decided, decline into something which could be equated with lunacy.

Not least of which, has been the ever increasing absurdity of our “If your startup was an X what X would it be?” type posts.

Today we tread the tightrope of credibility once again with “What does your choice of coffee say about you as a startup founder?”

What possible justification could we offer to allow for such a blatant and unspeakably ridiculous comparison to be drawn?

It’s UK Coffee week, and that is all the reason we need.

Black - You are a regular joe and you like your joe regular, you take a no nonsense approach to work… and life for that matter. You dislike pomp, fuss and frivolity, you conduct your business in the simplest way possible. You are a traditionalist who dislikes and is perhaps a tad suspicious of the modern world. Others may comment that your choice of coffee is ‘boring’ but to you it is simple and classic… just like you.

Americano - Technically the same as a black coffee, but the fact that you used the word “Americano” speaks volumes about you as a founder. You are somewhat more flexible than a hardened black coffee drinker and this is reflected in your startup style - you are more open to change and willing to experiment (you may have even dabbled in a little light cappuccino in your youth). At heart though you take a rather purist attitude to proceedings, preferring the tried and tested methods over fads and trends.

Latte/Mocha/Cappuccino - In your life you are a perpetual optimist constantly trying to soften the bitterness of life as you have the bitterness of your coffee. As a founder this makes you unstoppably cheery, always trying to get the best from your co-workers. You like to create a working space which is warm, inviting and mellow… hink ‘a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down’…

Frappucino - Your style as a startup founder is forward thinking, adventurous and you are always attempting to think outside of the proverbial box. You are unconcerned with what others think of you - after all who cares if your coffee is ice cold and doesn't actually contain any coffee?

No coffee for me, I will have a green tea with pomegranate, hibiscus and lotus flower infused for 30 seconds and stirred thrice anticlockwise - You like your drinks the way you like your startups - precise, ordered and focused. If your team are looking for a good time then they should have gone to Disneyland - this is business and there is work to be done. You follow the rules to the letter and get very frustrated when things aren't done to your exact specifications. Others will say that you are selfish and uptight but really you are just determined to succeed…and you probably will.

So there you have it, yet another incredibly pressing startup issue lovingly chewed up and spat out for your enjoyment.

If you are feeling in a fanciful sort of mood, why not take a look at some of our recent, shall we say ‘Quirky’ posts:

If your startup journey was a movie, which movie would it be?

The science of a successful startup, finally explained! (Well Sort of...)

The soundtrack to your startup journey

What literary characters would have made good startup founders?

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Published on: 9th April 2014